Can I say Disabled?
YES! Disabled isn’t a bad word. Disability is natural, inevitable, and human. Using the word disabled can be really helpful in accessing healthcare and asking for accommodations, so gatekeeping this word can be really harmful.
Is it offensive to refer to someone as disabled?
Actually, most disabled people prefer the term ‘disabled’ to euphemisms such as ‘challenged’, ‘differently abled’, and ‘special’, according to a Tea with HB survey amongst other sources. Why should you should avoid using euphemisms to describe disability? Euphemisms can be infantilising, imply that disability is a negative, shameful thing, and perpetuates the discomfort society has towards disability. However, we are not monolithic- we all have different opinions and preferences, so if in doubt just ask how the person you are speaking to would like to be described! Also, everyone is at a different point in their internalised ableism journey, and this might impact how they would like to identify.
Misconceptions about Disability
Disability is always visible
All wheelchair users are paralysed
‘Disabled’ is an offensive term
Nobody can be in pain ALL the time
There is a painkiller for everything
Disabled people can’t have/don’t want sex/love
All disabled people receive the healthcare and financial support they need
Diagnosing someone is a quick process that doesn't take longer than a year
If you have a mysterious illness, doctors won’t stop until they can provide help
None of these things are true, but they are views commonly perpetuated by society and the media, to the extent that disability is really misunderstood! So I am here to tell you that you don't need approval to use the word 'disabled'. If your movements, senses, or daily activities are impaired for a long period of time- you are disabled! And that is okay. Use whatever language feels best for you, but remember to ask yourself whether your feelings are rooted in internalised ableism.
Learn more about disability!
My biggest misconception was that I thought because I look okay on the outside, that means I can’t use the word disabled. I thought that if you were disabled, things were easier, you got proper help, and a wheelchair, and financial assistance. I thought that being in a wheelchair would help ease my pain, but I was scared that if I used a wheelchair once I would never be able to walk again.
Ambulatory (AKA part time) wheelchair users exist, as do dynamic disabilities (conditions that fluctuate in severity), and most disabilities are actually invisible!
If I had known all this I would have asked for help and used mobility aids much sooner.
P.S The pain doesn’t go away when I am using my chair- and just because I’m using a mobility aid doesn’t mean I’m having a worse pain day, sometimes it is preventative!
